Archive for April, 2013
Listening Skills Strategies—Case #4 Tips for Interacting with a Conceptualizing Listener
One of the challenges for Amanda and those who work with her is because of homophily: the notion that people like similar kinds of people and things. Amanda is dissimilar to most of her colleagues, and to Huan, her manager. Nevertheless, Amanda is valued for her ability to innovate, which Huan recognizes is a crucial component of the work of the medical devices team.
Huan wants some practical tips for how to work with Amanda to channel her questions and ideas, but without losing any of her creativity.
- The biggest issue lies within the team and Huan, and not Amanda. They do not understand homophily and how their lack of similarity to Amanda’s style impacts their working relationships. So, the first tip is for the team to learn their individual and group listening profiles and become educated about how listening habits form in their brains, bodies and emotions and dictate the way they interact with others.
- That said there are techniques Huan can use with Amanda. Set listening expectations. If Huan had told Amanda before the team meeting that he needed her to listen as though she was from the FDA, she would most likely have stayed on track. Instead, he proceeded with the ten questions without Amanda knowing her role, which caused her to spin ideas without a framework.
- Limit the number of questions or ideas Amanda can offer. Again, this is a technique to set parameters. The difference is if a Conceptualizing Listener is told that three great ideas are more valuable than ten mediocre ones, s/he will self-limit and listen for what is most important.
- Provide Conceptualizing Listeners with note cards or stickies, and ask them to note their questions and ideas on them. Huan wants Amanda’s questions and ideas; however, he might prefer them after a meeting or discussion when he can reflect on them and not be blindsided or overwhelmed like what happened in the team preparation meeting.
- Don’t always try to rein in Amanda, but hold separate idea-generating meetings when everyone is expected to do what comes naturally for Amanda. It’s important that Amanda has opportunities to shine and for her teammates to stretch their listening and thinking to increase their homophily behaviors to be more like Conceptualizing Listeners.
- Conceptualizing Listeners are often optimistic and happy, two qualities that every organization needs to value.
Listening Skills Strategies—Case #4 The Conceptualizing Listener
Of the four listening styles, I find that Conceptualizing Listeners have the most challenging time getting heard in organizations. They generate ideas while they’re listening, which can make it confusing for others, especially those who are action-oriented and want to get to the point. But, Conceptualizers are often the ones with innovative ideas.
The Case:
Amanda, a research scientist in the medical technology field, has an idea-a-minute. She listens attentively, seemingly only for a short while, then begins to ask a lot of questions and offer ideas. Her boss, Huan, has told her more than once to stay focused and to listen. Actually, Amanda can cite almost everything that others said, and the ideas she offers are frequently innovative. Nevertheless, she can seem inattentive and scattered.
Following is an actual situation that shows Amanda in action. Huan’s team was preparing to meet with people from the FDA about the status of a new medical device. The company was anxious for the meeting to go well to move the product along in the approval process. For the team meeting, Huan, a very precise and careful manager, prepared a list of potential questions the FDA representatives might ask.
At the team prep meeting, Huan started to read the questions, and as he got to the third one, Amanda asked him to give them some more background on how he came up with the questions, what, if any, did the FDA submit, and who did he gather data from to actually answer the questions. Two of Amanda’s teammates said they were sure Huan did his homework, and they didn’t need to have her questions answered.
Huan with less energy than before, continued with his list, and Amanda sat quietly until the tenth and final question was put to the team. Silence reigned until Amanda, sitting forward and with a pondering tone said, “Have we addressed potential side effects for orphan diseases; and in the third question you said 35% of patients were tested, but in the fifth question you cited a different population, was that also 35%? I’m wondering if the FDA will be concerned with how the weight of the product might need to differ for males, females and children? What if we ask the FDA to brainstorm with us to develop a more exhaustive list for review?”
Eyes rolled, jaws tensed, and feet tapped. Amanda’s teammates didn’t want to hear more ideas and questions, they wanted to move forward, meet with the FDA, and respond to FDA questions rather than take more time to address Amanda’s list that would surely slow the process and might never be surfaced by the FDA.
Huan has asked us how to help channel Amanda’s Conceptualizing listening without losing any of her innovative thinking. What 2-3 pieces of advice do you have for him and others who want to know how to interact with Conceptualizing Listeners?
I’ll chime in with my advice on the next post.
Listening Skills Strategies—Case #3 Tips for Interacting with a Problem-Solving Listener
Brad will probably fare fine in his new group because of homophily: the notion that people like similar kinds of people and things. He’s an IT person who will be surrounded by others like him. The fact that he presses for details and data will be familiar and appreciated, so he will know how to listen to his colleagues and they will know how to listen to him.
But, the head of HR calls Marge for advice because she can already tell it will be challenging to get Brad to listen to her. “He’s no different from the other IT folks, and he’s a right fit for us, but since he speaks so highly of you, I’d be most grateful for any advice you can give me.” As an Inner-Personal Listener Marge asks for a day to put her thoughts together. Finally, the next day she sends these tips:
- Brad cares most about getting something right. He doesn’t need to be right; as a matter of fact, he’s very good at dispassionately examining an issue, but he does need to get to a right answer. So, tell him what you are following in his line of thinking, ask him how he got there, and be very open in your line of questioning—no drilling allowed. And above all, come prepared with facts or he’ll ignore you.
- Speaking of ignoring you. I learned that when Brad’s paying attention he’ll take a posture like Rodin’s The Thinker. But, when he stops listening, he physically cuts away, maybe by writing, looking at something/someone else, rifling through papers. He rarely looks people in the eye, even when he’s paying attention. He does signal attention by nodding or pointing his finger in agreement.
- Stay away from feelings. Brad will sacrifice a worthwhile discussion if it gets too personal or emotional. He once told me that feelings are better left at home.
- It’s also possible that Brad will either linger too long on his search for the perfect amount of data, thus creating analysis paralysis, or he’ll take precipitive action in his desire to move on. Either way, he can be impatient. So, I learned early on to set the stage for our interactions by asking him what he wants, why, and what I could do to satisfy his needs. Then, during our interaction, I’d ask if he was getting what he wanted.
- Most of all, I’d say you’ll never go wrong offering him coffee, he drinks a lot of it throughout the day, with a heaping plateful of data and facts.
Listening Skills Strategies—Case #3 The Problem-Solving Listener
When I’m asked how listening styles are like MBTI descriptors, I say that listening is a brain function for the most part, with psychology thrown in, and MBTI is a personality type, so they really aren’t alike because they measure different aspects of a person. That said, I do notice that ISTJ’s are often also Problem-Solving Listeners. Pressed, I could find a correlation, but I’m not a university researcher and don’t want to go down that road.
If you have thoughts about the similarities, do share them with us.
The Case:
Brad was once in Marge’s (first case and an Inner-Personal Listener) department and he really enjoyed working with her. Brad was a contract employee and lost his job when the contract ended. Marge tried to keep him, to no avail, but she did help him get a full time IT job with a vendor.
In an unusual move, Brad asked Marge to lunch, not to thank her, but for a different reason. He wants her to help him understand himself better so he can have as good a relationship with his new colleagues as he did with Marge. At first she was reluctant, but then Marge thought it might be good training for her to be more forthcoming, and she does like Brad.
Marge describes Brad as detailed, fact-driven, precise, and impersonal when he listens. She says, “Sometimes I wondered if there would ever be enough data to satisfy your desire to get something just right. You could be exasperating, but rarely misinformed or wrong.” Characteristically, he asks her to cite examples and sits back, head in hand, to listen to as many as she can provide. Brad doesn’t react or defend; he listens to her words as information, not words about his character.
At the end of their lunch Brad thanks Marge and asks her to give him advice about what to tell his new colleagues about how best to interact with him.
What 2-3 pieces of advice do you have for Brad as he prepares others to interact with him?
I’ll chime in with my advice on the next post.