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7 Listening Killers

  1. Ego
  2. Impatience
  3. Anticipation
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Poor listening is expensive. Watch what some folks have to say.

Tooting Our Horn

~ We are pleased to announce Marian’s upcoming participation in a Listening Symposium Sept. 15-17, 2013 at the Reynolds Journalism Institute in Columbia, Missouri (based at the Missouri School of Journalism at the University of Missouri). The symposium is a gathering of a small, select group of leaders from many professions, including lawyers, police, clergy, therapists, social workers, educators, nurses, sociologists and more, to work together for two days to explore the purposes, practices and power of listening in society, and to learn from each other.

The hope is to tease out the best practices used in each participants’ worlds. How does the cop discern between truth and lie? How does the journalist probe but not judge? How does the therapist work through pain without undermining trust? We will be challenged to practice what we preach: to really listen to one another, even - or especially - when we disagree.

The sessions will be guided in part by Butch Ward, former managing editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer and now on the faculty at the Poynter Institute, a school for professional journalists.

~ Marian is a contributor to a new eBook just released by Bill Corbett, author, keynote speaker and parenting expert, entitled, “Speakers’ Worst Nightmares.” It is a compilation of 41 stories from individuals with varying degrees of speaking experience. All of the stories, many of them quite humorous, were important lessons for the individuals as they developed their speaking skills. Bill just released his new book, “From the Soapbox to the Stage: How to use Your Passion to Start a Speaking Business.”

~ Take a look at this interesting article published online March 27, 2013 at The Glass Hammer under the title: “What to Do If Your Flex Work Arrangement Gets Axed” by Robin Madell (http://www.theglasshammer.com/news/2013/03/27/what-to-do-if-your-flex-work-program-gets-axed/ ). It features Marian's comments with some timely, supportive advice with steps to take should you be faced with a similar circumstance.

~ We here at Listening Impact recently learned that Marian has one of the top 10% most viewed @LinkedIn profiles for 2012. (Copy and paste this link to view our LinkedIn profile ~ http://www.linkedin.com/pub/profile/0/167/506)

Yes, we are proud of this accomplishment. Primarily, though, we are inspired by your commitment to professional growth and honored by your friendship and confidence in our coaching, communication and listening skills.

Posts Tagged ‘personality traits’

Research Implications for Listening

Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @ 06:01 PM Author: Marian Thier

This post is going to abstract some of the very intriguing current research that may have implications for listening:

Music Makes Us Happy:

Results indicate that intense pleasure in response to music can lead to dopamine release in the striatal system. Notably, the anticipation of an abstract reward can result in dopamine release in an anatomical pathway distinct from that associated with the peak pleasure itself.

Nature Neuroscience (2011) doi:10.1038/nn.2726

Received 07 October 2010 Accepted 25 November 2010 Published online 09 January 2011

Implications for listening:

This research demonstrates that music makes people happy.  When we are happy we tend to be open and responsive. Listening depends upon an open brain and attitude.  So, if you feel your attention waning, try music to re-engage your mind and spirit.

Third Order Listening:

In his book The Management Myth, Matthew Stewart describes the listening style of one quite brilliant consultant as follows:

He does not focus on what you are saying. Rather, he tries to figure out what you want to get by saying it. And then he tries to figure out why you think you want what you want. And then he tries to figure out what he can do about the things that make you think you want it.

How often do you try to figure out what the other person wants by paying attention to the words he uses and the number of times he repeats something?

The Listening Club:

The Listening Club, a burgeoning Harvard organization, is now seeking members at Harvard. Members will cultivate and hone vanguard listening skills in both subjective and objective contexts; form a vital resource body of listeners performing campus and broader community service; research listening in applied fields of study; and invite active collaboration with other Harvard entities to both liaise with the club and partner on special listening events and activities.

Harvard Gazette, Janaury 13, 2011

FYI, I’ve contacted the founder.

Brain Regions:

Theprefrontal cortex is this brain region where the juggling act occurs. This area is important in planning complex cognitive behaviors, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behavior.

Yet in order to accomplish tasks and make decisions–otherwise known as executive functions–the brain tends to filter out new generative impulses and stimuli that are deemed as incongruent or interfering with the focus of our attention.

Executive function is key to higher level analysis and critical thinking. It relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social “control” (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially-unacceptable outcomes).

From The Center for Graphic Illustration

Implications for Listening:

We have to be in control of our prefrontal cortex when we listen or be at its mercy.

More to Come.  I enjoy sharing my learning with the listening community, and appreciate it when you chime in.

Habits and Traits Show up Everywhere, Including Blogs

Tuesday, January 11, 2011 @ 04:01 PM Author: Marian Thier

Today I read some very interesting research results.

Basically, the researcher says that it is possible to tell personality traits from the words used when writing blogs.  Following is the information, followed by my additional thoughts:

Posts about dancing, drinking and restaurants could hint you’re an extrovert

Newly released findings from Tal Yarkoni, a CU psychology and neuroscience postdoctoral fellow, also debunk the idea that people can maintain distinctly different offline and online personalities.

“Our personalities don’t dramatically change just because we’ve turned on our computers,” he said. The research was published in the Journal of Research in Personality

Top five words used by personality traits:

1.    Neurotic (sensitive and nervous): “Awful,” “though [sic],” “lazy,” “worse” and “depressing.”

2.    Extroverted (outgoing and energetic): “Bar,” “other,” “drinks,” “restaurant” and “dancing.”

3.    Open (inventive and curious): “folk,” “humans,” “of,” “poet” and “art.”

4.    Agreeable (friendly and compassionate): “wonderful,” “together,” “visiting,” “morning” and “spring.”

5.    Conscientious (organized and efficient): “completed,” “adventure,” “stupid,” “boring” and “adventures.”

Source: University of Colorado

Read more:
CU-Boulder study: Word choice in blogs reveals personality traits – Boulder Daily Camera, http://www.dailycamera.com/ci_17060109#ixzz1AksZExXv; DailyCamera.com. By Brittany Anas Camera StaffWriter, Posted: 01/10/2011 08:04:29 PM MST

While I would never try to conduct the same kind of research for listening, I found Dr. Yarkoni’s thesis to validate our work on listening habits.

  • We do have preferences
  • Preferences become habits that we rely upon
  • Language signals habit
  • We tend to stick to habits even when the context changes
  • We’re often clueless about our habits
  • Learning how we come across can provide us with greater control over how we are perceived