Archive for April, 2012
Priming Our Listening Skills
At the Conference on World Affairs (an excellent meeting of the minds conducted annually at CU-Boulder), Drew Westen, a member of the panel, “The Human Brain, Not Perfect, but Good Enough,” explained the Heightened State of Latent Activation principle. Let’s look beyond the academic words to assess what the term means to us when we listen.
Dr. Westen performed the following experiment with the audience:
- He repeated four words: two of which were “ocean” and “moon.”
- Next he asked: “What laundry detergent comes to mind?”
- Those of us who thought of “Tide” raised our hands.
- Drew estimated about 80% of the audience, the typical percentage, raised our hands.
Dr. Westen explained that our results were predictable and replicable wherever Tide is sold, not because it is the most famous brand in the world, but because he primed us with the words “ocean” and “moon” without our being aware of his ploy. He primed us with words that relate to tides, which put our brains into search mode for familiar connections.
Our brains gravitate to prior experiences: e.g. we leap to conclusions when the words we hear are similar to ones we’ve heard before. That’s part of why we don’t listen fully; we gravitate to existing networks to select what we listen to.
More research on this subject was reported in the March 24, 2012 issue of Science News in an article by Laura Sanders, “Brain cells know how you will bet.” She says, “…nerve cells deep in the brain know what to do. And these cells know the plan seconds before the person actually decides on a course of action.” Thus, those neural networks are functioning well in advance of our conscious decision-making.
So what do these studies show us about listening?
- There’s a constant battle between our conscious attention and the brain’s control function—we don’t know 80% of what’s going on in our brain, so we better take advantage of the 20%
- Listening requires focus and intention for the information to be of any value
- We use intuitive theories about what we’ve heard and make up answers for what we don’t know—that can be dangerous if we don’t listen well to what is being presented to us
- Since our brains tend to be ahead of our conscious selves, staying present is our best chance for alignment between sender and receiver—or as someone else on the panel said, “Our unconscious processes can’t think and do at the same time.”
Listen with all the openness you have. When you come from a place of knowing, it messes you up to think about it and blocks most of what the sender has to offer.
Part 2 of Notes from the International Listening Association Convention
Dr. Doyle Srader, Northwest Christian University, Eugene, Oregon
Performance Listening
Question: How is the act of listening sufficient to fulfill the duties of the listener and/or create relationship?
Some findings:
- There are three categories of performance listening:
- Listening toward relationship—calls relationship into being and establishes ties
- Listening toward leadership—enters without an agenda and allows interaction to establish meaning and directions
- Listening toward fairness—hear someone out much like in the judicial system where there is a hearing
- Measure of success is when followers are satisfied that the interaction has been effective and appropriate
- Communication is transactional and a co-created encounter
- Goal—use all three to be a credible listener so other person would say s/he’s been heard
Christopher Gearhart, Louisiana State University, Baton Rouge, LA
Sensory-processing Sensitivity
Question: Is the Highly Sensitive Person a Highly Sensitive Listener?
Some findings:
- No, highly sensitive people are easily distracted by stimuli and may not focus well as a listener
- fMRI shows more processing activity and less accuracy for a highly sensitive person
- fMRI shows longer and deeper processing activity for a less sensitive person
Sheila Bentley, Bentley Consulting; Graham Bodie, LSU; Jennifer Grau, Grau Interpersonal Communication
A Time I Felt Listened To
Question: Which techniques make a person felt listened to?
Some findings:
- People describe attributes first and behaviors second
- Sometimes the researcher had to ask, “What caused you to list that attribute to get the person to describe what the person did?
- Women square off more in an interaction while men take an open positioning
- 80% of all malpractice suits are caused by patient feeling “brushed off”
- An initial reaction determines degree of satisfaction/dissatisfaction with the entire interaction, even if the first person encountered is not the main interaction (e.g. person at the front desk makes a good/bad impression, and that colors every subsequent interaction, regardless of how others treat the person)
- Back-channel responses, those that are unconscious such as nodding or uttering “uh-huh” signal understanding
- The key attributes included in a Physician Listening Study:
- It is assumed the physician brings these attributes to the table:
Confidence, Empathetic, Humane, Personal, Forthright, Respectful, Thorough
Most important verbal behaviors: Answers questions, elaborates on topics being discussed instead of answering with short statements, asks questions, does not interrupt or change the subject
Non-verbal behaviors: Maintains appropriate eye contact, focuses body language and position, engages in appropriate composure, smiles/laughs
Random notes:
- Good listening gives you currency
- There are four stages of counseling/therapy
- engagement
- assessment in context
- insight
- action
- Babies borrow their sound from parents—that’s why many children have similar voices and speech patterns as their parents
- Listening is enhanced when the listener asks: Who/what am I as a listener in this situation?
- Anticipation of where the speaker is going next derails communication
- Metaphor: Listening is a cup. If it’s full with our own stuff, there’s no room for another’s.
There was a lot of validation of our work in Listening Impact, especially for Hear! Hear? Your Listening Portfolio ®
Active Listening might be a passé term: What would you nominate in its place?
Notes from the International Listening Association (ILA) Convention, March 22-24, 2012, Bremerton, WA
I’ve just returned from the ILA Convention in Bremerton, WA where I had the opportunity to learn about some fascinating research that expanded my knowledge of listening, and hopefully it will do the same for you. This post is part one of two of some of the take-aways from that conference.
It was quite an extended process to get to the convention—plane to Seattle, shuttle to the ferry terminal, hour ferry ride to Bremerton, and short walk to the convention center and hotel. Nevertheless, I’m very glad I attended because I heard some terrific presentations given by smart, smart people.
Graham Bodie and grad students from Louisiana State University
Supportive Listening
Question: What are the similarities and differences between a supportive person and a supportive listener?
Some findings:
- Supportive person is described in general, impressionistic terms such as: positive, intelligent
- Supportive listener described in specific, behavioral characteristics: involved in interaction, responds verbally
- Influencers on the relationship are
- non-verbal \immediacy (e.g. body language)
- verbal-immediacy (e.g. questions)
- Answer to question: How important is it to you that your relational partner is a good listener or good comforter, depends upon the importance you put upon it. Our level of satisfactions depends upon what we’re looking for in our relational partner to demonstrate.
Language Style Matching
Question: Does Language Style Matching (LSM) influence a relationship?
Some findings:
- Mimicry is automatic and mostly unconscious
- LSM is often used when people like one another
- LSM, use of emotional words, or cognitive (cause and effect) words didn’t make people feel better or worse. Or, nothing in particular made much of a difference
- But, negative emotional words and tentative words made people feel worse
- Major finding: We have expectations of listening behaviors, but they don’t matter much until they are NOT used. Then you’ll be considered a bad listener; however using them all won’t necessarily translate into your being considered a good listener.
Laura Janusik, Rockhurst Univeristy, Kansas City & Margarete Imhof, Gutenberg University, Mainz, Germany
Listening Construct Across Cultures
Question: What similarities and difference do three cultures exhibit in terms of conceptualizing listening? (Japanese, European, US American)
Some findings:
- Culture is communication and communication is culture
- Subjective listening concepts determine how/why one listens
- How one perceives listening could affect how one does listening
- Subjective concepts are culturally dependent
Metacognition
Question: Will we listen better if we think about it?
Some findings:
- There are three stages to metacognitive listening:
- Before: plan and set goals
- During: comprehend, aware of what’s happening in the moment
- After: reflect
- Bringing listening to consciousness increases likelihood of a positive interaction
Directed Learning
Question: What are some strategies that will enhance listening in the classroom/training room?
Strategies:
- All about connections
a. What do I already know about topic
b. What should I know that I don’t
c. Learning facilitator stops every 10-15 minutes to tell them to make connections between a and b
2. Voice Mirroring
a. Facilitator reads a script while the audience mirrors her words out loud
b. Initially, the facilitator faces the audience, then turns her back
c. Facilitator faces audience again but this time the audience silently mirrors the words inside their heads, and finally they close their eyes and mirror in silence
d. Technique brings yourself back on track to focus entirely on what the speaker is saying
3. Stop, Look, Summarize
a. Draw a line at the bottom of your page of notes
b. Periodically, put the information into your own words
c. Technique translates and summaries ideas into an understandable format
4. Big Picture, Little Picture
a. Look at details and tie them to the big picture
b. Look at big picture and tie them to details
c. Technique relates two extremes of thought process to one another
5. Think, Pair, Share
a. Write words/terms you don’t understand
b. Pair up to figure out meaning
c. Share with others who may/may not have figured out definitions
d. Technique uses group knowledge and reduces anxiety about not knowing what a word/term means. It’s particularly good for non-native speakers as well as for people from different functions/disciplines
6. Multi-Tasking is a Myth*
a. Can’t do two tasks even when tasks tap into same part of brain
b. Can’t do two switch tasks using different parts of brain
*If you don’t subscribe to this blog and you’d like a copy of the short exercise that demonstrates this strategy, sign up for the blog and we’ll gladly send it.